Anyone that has to deal with negative people on a regular
basis knows just how challenging it can be. All the complaining and ‘doom and
gloom’ talk can really sap your energy and patience. At the conclusion of a
mere 15-minute conversation, it can feel like the life has been sucked right out
of you.
The good news is you can lessen the effects of their
negativity by coming up with a plan to deal with this challenge.
Try these strategies:
1. Be objective. It’s important not to take the negative
person’s comments personally. Recognize that they’re pessimistic most of the
time and take an unhelpful perspective of most things. They can be so absorbed
by their negative thoughts that they have a difficult time being tactful.
* In reality, you might feel a little sorry for them. Aren’t
you glad that you don’t carry the same negative attitude about life? It’s
difficult to be upset with someone when you feel sorry for them.
2. Keep the conversation light. It can be very helpful to
steer the conversation to lighter topics, like the weather, movies, or sports
to keep things from getting too intense. Some people simply enjoy feeling the
emotional intensity that comes from being negative.
3. Avoid rewarding negative talk. Sometimes we inadvertently
encourage the negative person by being too supportive.
* Instead, don’t engage fully in the conversation when
someone is being overly negative. Instead, be enthusiastic and supportive when
they’re being positive. Keep your responses and attention to a minimum when the
negative talk is flying.
4. Try not to be alone with them. You won’t feel the brunt
of the abuse when there are others to share the grief. Plus, the negative
talker will usually be less intense when he doesn’t have the undivided
attention of a single person.
* It’s also much easier to excuse yourself from the
conversation because you don’t feel like such a critical part of the
interaction.
5. Make a concerted effort to limit the amount of time you
spend with them. Every positive and negative experience in your life has some
effect on you. So take care of yourself and avoid spending more time with them
than you need to.
6. Be a positive influence. You might be able to help the
person feel more optimistic by being a positive influence in their life. If you
think they’re simply lonely, perhaps you could get a group together and all go
out for dinner. Or maybe you could suggest a hobby. See if you can identify a
specific cause for their negativity and then assist.
7. Eliminate them from your life. Especially if you’re
kind-hearted, you’ll most likely want to save this option as a last resort.
Sometimes we have people in our lives that don’t have to be there, and it
doesn’t make sense to maintain the relationship if that relationship only
brings you negativity.
Negative people are a fact of life and something that we all
must deal with from time to time. These strategies will help you keep their
negative effects on your life to a minimum.
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